hello there.. long time no blog.
well.. what’s new? i’m going to be 7 months pregnant tomorrow. TWO MONTHS TO GO!
in two months time (give or take a few days) .. i’m going to be a mother of TWO. i will have TWO CHILDREN. not only that… but i’m now a STAY AT HOME MOM.
oh my.. how my life has changed. never in my wildest dreams did i think i would find myself where i am.
i don’t know if it’s the emotions. the pregnancy. the fact that this is FUCKING REAL. but i’m starting to freak.
FREAK THE FUCK OUT.
oh man. having a baby is so ridiculously EXHAUSTING!! I swear my entire body hurts. and it’s never ending. you think you’ll get a nap and the baby has a different plan. you think you’re going to get to eat and all of a sudden he’s hungry. you think you just did the best diaper change ever and the baby poops right after you finish securing the diaper.
I don’t know how I’m going to go back to work. I’m going to miss him. I’m also probably going to die from exhaustion.
My son Xavier. Love him more than words can ever describe… More than life itself.
we made it to our newborn care class. i was convinced that I would have given birth by now. (9 days until my due date). i’m kind of sad i haven’t had him but also thankful because i’m also terrified of that shit.
yep. that’s my lovely husband.
we decided to take a day and spend some alone time together. our first stop was breakfast. we went to a neighborhood spot (it’s literally in the middle of all these residences) and had a nice breakfast. the husband grew up with the owners kids and was actually on a little league team with the son, T, and went to middle school and high school with him. as we walk in we see T, im introduced to him and he seems like the sweetest guy ever. he gets us a nice table in the garden and stopped by a couple times to catch up with my husband and check on us. as we finish up breakfast T comes over to tell us that they took care of our check. how sweet! he said he hopes they are our first stop when the baby starts eating solid food. Continue reading
so I went to my breastfeeding class last weekend. I learned about the breast crawl. who knew babies were such creepy little things!?
Joel said the baby looked sad in the above so I made sure to take another.
now the baby is resting and smiling. the husband and I always try to guess how old babies are and we are usually wrong. I asked the teacher about the doll and she tried to tell me it was newborn size. uh hell no. I am NOT pushing that out!!
ive been feeling all these different emotions and wanted to practice my writing and kind of get some of anxiety out so I made this:
I posted it to instagram and lots of my friends made comments. I wasn’t too surprised when everyone focused on ‘sadness.’ why sadness? well, my entire life and relationship is going to change! never again will i be an individual. i will be a mother and responsible for this little person the rest of my life. no getting up and going on vacation, staying out all night (haven’t done that in awhile anyway), drinking one maybe two bottles of wine a night… it’s the hardest thing for me. is it selfish? of course! do I feel guilty about it? not really. im sure that feeling will change once I have him in front of me in my arms. until then I reserve the right to feel the way I do.
here’s a picture of my belly. almost there. almost.
Joel was on Pinterest and saw something he wanted me to do.. i guess you’re supposed to create an email for your child and over the years you send pictures, stories, and what not. i was initially against it because i’m more of an old school letter/scrapbook type person and actually want to get this journal – letters to my baby (i’m still gonna get it!)
butttttt i decided why not and created the email today!
i don’t know if it’s my hormones or it’s such a beautiful thing to have a child but the first sentence i wrote brought me to tears. i think it’ll be cute to document important moments in his life. things that i might even forget over time. the Pinterest post suggests that you give your child the password once they turn 18 but i don’t know if i’ll be able to wait that long! what do you think?
** side note: they just showed that damn GoPro child birth on TV again. i tear up every darn time!
well, i’m on a laptop from 2005 and the power cord has to be plugged in at all times for it to work and guess what just happened? yep, it disconnected!!! UGH!! well the husband just got home so it’s the time for the Netflix. night night all!